• ellenbakercoaching

Solitude 101

Although it may seem counter-intuitive, an important step in calling in “The One” is learning to enjoy being alone.

Here’s how to go about it from the very beginning.

  • Set aside a few minutes when you know you won’t be interrupted.

  • Turn off everything. Yes, the TV, music, the computer, even your phone!

Most of us are accustomed to being constantly distracted by media and outside stimuli.

What happens when we turn off everything, focus inward, and really pay attention?

  • The silence might not be easy at first. Emotions you’ve been stuffing or hiding from might boil up.

  • Take a breath. Take a walk. Get out in nature, if you can.

  • Just keep breathing.

  • Whatever thoughts come to you, just observe them, accept them without judgment, and let them pass by.

If you have a bit more time, adding this next step will help solitude become a friendlier place more quickly.

  • After a few minutes of quiet, get out your journal or notebook and make a list of all you’re grateful for. If it’s hard to think of anything, you can start with the very basic, e.g., “I am so grateful and thankful to be breathing right now.” Keep the pen moving and list everything you can think of. If you can spend fifteen minutes or so and fill about three notebook/journal pages, any discomfort with silence will almost certainly begin to ease. If it doesn’t, see if you can keep writing until it does. And, if it still doesn’t, no judgment! Pretend you’re a child learning to walk – and understand that a few spills are to be expected.

At the end of the time you’d set aside, return to your comfort zone and do something kind for yourself as a reward for your bravery. Then try the whole practice again tomorrow. It will get easier – it will even become something you look forward to!

In my next post, I’ll write more about why getting comfortable with solitude is such an important step in the Calling in “The One” process.

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