• ellenbakercoaching

Make 2020 your year to find love

Updated: Jan 26, 2020

Here are seven simple steps anyone can take in order to go about making 2020 your year to find love -- inspired by a post I saw from someone who has just stated that beautiful intention!

1. Make the declaration. As this individual has already done, I’d recommend to everyone to state a clear intention. Say it however makes the most sense to you, and don't let fear hold you back: This is my year to find love. Or, by the end of this year, I will be in a loving, committed partnership that lights me up and inspires me every day. Or even, I will be engaged by New Year’s Day, 2021!

2. Ask yourself who you need to be to make this declaration come true. We all envision our perfect love and what he or she needs to do to meet our standards and be our “One” – but what about what we need to do to become the perfect love – “The One” – for someone else?

It’s time to get really honest about who you really are and what you really bring to the table.

What are your patterns of behavior that caused your previous relationships not to work out? Are you too critical of others? Co-dependent? Self-effacing to the point of ceasing to exist? Or, on the flip side, arrogant? Entrenched in your opinions? Habitually resentful? More interested in being right than in loving and being loved?

We all have pieces of us that are less than perfect, of course, and part of the dream of finding someone is that he or she will accept us, warts and all. But, the more you work on excising the less generous, less loving parts of you, the better chance you’ll have of being open to “The One” when he or she crosses your path. (And, yes, this means being generous and loving toward yourself, too!)

3. Enlist the help of friends. It never hurts to let others who care about you know what you’re up to and that you’re committed to finding love this year. You might ask for truly honest feedback from your closest friends about what they’ve noticed about your patterns in the past. Or, you might ask if they know anybody that they think you’d hit it off with!

4. Say yes to every opportunity and stretch outside your comfort zone. Along with this, be open to any opportunities that present themselves – even those that make you uncomfortable. A blind date set up by a friend? Yes! A party with a crowd of strangers? Yes! Look to create opportunities of your own, as well, that are in line with your interests and that might provide ways of meeting new people – a cooking class, a wine tasting, a hiking club, a Meetup Group, or anything else you can think of.

5. Don’t get discouraged. The first date you go on might not be with “The One.” The sixth one down the line might not be, either! Persevere, and keep a positive attitude. Be open to your new love not looking quite the way you imagined him or her to look, but don’t settle for someone whose values you don’t admire. Continue to do the deep work on yourself to create the best possible you for when you do meet “The One.”

6. Consider enlisting help. For me, working through the Calling in “The One” process using the book on my own and, next and most especially, working with a Calling in “The One” coach, transformed my life and made authentic love possible by making me see ways in which I was selling myself short in certain ways and truly terrified of actual love in others. This can be a lot to sort out on your own, and there are bound to peaks and valleys in your journey throughout the year, so consider making an investment in coaching or other support to encourage and guide you. I would love to work with you to help you make 2020 the year you find love! Book a free 30-minute consultation right here to see if Calling in "The One" coaching is right for you. From a different angle, working with a matchmaker is also an avenue you might wish to pursue. The two types of services can be complementary, given that a matchmaker will introduce you to possible matches, while coaching will help you field those possibilities with grace, skill, and deep insight into and commitment to yourself and the future you truly intend to create.

7. Be confident that it's going to work out -- and celebrate when it does! We can sometimes get so caught up in the process and the work that perhaps we don't notice when "The One" does cross our path. Stay vigilant, because that person is there, and you being so clear in and committed to your intention means that they are headed right for you!

With perseverance and positivity, you can definitely make 2020 the year you create the life and love of your dreams -- and you'll be making the world a more loving place in the process. My advice is that you don't wait another minute to start!

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