• ellenbakercoaching

5 simple steps to remove your blocks to love

Last time, I wrote about seven beliefs that might be subconsciously blocking you from love -- even if, consciously, you're sure you're ready for the partner of your dreams.

Not so fast, your subconscious says.


So, if your subconscious is playing tricks on you like that, how do you tell what you really believe? How do you tell if you're blocking yourself from the things you really want most?

First, look at the evidence of what's showing up in your life.

Do you spend most of your time alone, and not ask for help even when you need it? Chances are, you have an "I'm alone" program running. (Think of it like a computer operating system, which creates an experience without any further direction from you; or, on the human level, remember that your brain runs subconscious programs just as naturally as breathing all the time!)

So, let's take a look at how -- backwards as this might sound -- changing your behavior can change your experience -- and thus begin shifting that stubborn old belief.

Here's the quick, 5-step breakdown:

1. The block: Deep down, you believe you're all alone in the world.

2. The telltale behavior: When you have a project that could benefit from an extra pair of hands, not only do you not ask anyone for help, it doesn't even occur to you to ask for help!

3. The reinforcing experience: You struggle through the project and are finally pleased with yourself for finishing it, telling yourself, "See, I don't need anybody, after all."

4. How to change it up: Next time you have a project, ask somebody for help! See how much easier it is and how glad that person actually is to help you. They may even tell you that they've noticed you could use a bit more support in your life, but they weren't quite sure how to offer it, or if they should, as you seem so self-sufficient!

5. The new belief: Others are available to support and help and be with me.

Do you see how that new belief is much more open energetically to inviting in new love and more happiness and connection?


Now, granted, while this quick-n-dirty version will help begin to shift you, getting full results on your own can be difficult.

My specialty as a coach is to help you shine a light on what subconscious programs you may be running, work with you to energetically shift them at the deepest levels, and then guide and support you through the process of creating new behaviors -- and thus new evidence for your new story!

I've seen this process work miracles for my clients. (There's honestly nothing I love more than seeing this!)

Listen, you're not alone. And there's nothing wrong with you. You're just living the human experience.

So many of us -- until we've done the work to transform -- have programs running that tell us, "I don't belong," "I'm not worthy," "I'm bad," "I'm alone," or.... well, you get the idea.

Is it any wonder we can't create happy, healthy love -- not to mention all the rest of what we desire -- with those beliefs at the basis of how we're navigating the world?

I encourage you to try the 5-step process outlined above. It will require you to behave in ways that are uncomfortable for you...

And then you'll see it begin to shift things for you!

And, if you want to experience these shifts at a deeper level, and more quickly, just reply to this message to set up a 30-minute discovery call to see if my coaching program is right for you.

P.S. Stay tuned for details on my "Reinventing Yourself after Divorce" small-group coaching program, which will help shift you from disappointment and heartbreak to possibility and hope. I'll be announcing the details and taking enrollments soon. Or, if you can't wait, just contact me and ask me to fill you in!

37 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All